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Alma poses a question about child safety and right of first refusal. Diane & Rick unpack the complexities of these issues and how to focus on keeping the child out of the middle and engaged with the trusted parent. CLICK HERE to subscribe to our monthly podcast email to get a sneak peak into upcoming topics! Do you have a co-parent dilemma? Call our voicemail number at 1-234-DILEMMA ( 1-234-345-3662 ) or email 1234Dilemma@gmail.com Want to talk about this episode with Diane and other parents? Be...

Diane & Rick address a listener dilemma about sticking to the parenting plan or being flexible with weekend time. Blogger Bella Duncan ( www.akidwithtwohomes.com ) weighs in with how kids feel about living in a high-conflict parenting situation and advice about seeing things from the child’s point of view. CLICK HERE to subscribe to our monthly podcast email to get a sneak peak into upcoming topics! Do you have a co-parent dilemma? Call our voicemail number at 1-234-DILEMMA (1-234-345-3662) or e...

Diane & Rick answer listener Kathy’s question about access to grandchildren after divorce. She is frustrated that her ex daughter-in-law won’t be flexible about her time with the kids when the grandparents are in town. Rick & Diane suggest that even grandparents can respect the parenting plan and should educate themselves about co-parent conflict to avoid giving bad advice to their divorced children. To access parent education described on the show, visit www.CNFC.org CLICK HERE to subscribe to ...

Diane and Rick address Jared's dilemma with his co-parent regarding too many activities on his parenting time. He claims the other parent is purposely involving their child in activities on his weekends, and it's negatively affecting the time he has with his son. Should he let go and accept his child's busyness as part of childhood, or should he hold on and fight for what he thinks his child (and he) really wants? CLICK HERE to subscribe to our monthly podcast email to get a sneak peak into upco...

A listener asks about introducing his new dating partner to the children. Diane & Rick explore all of the risks and benefits of introducing too soon, how it affects children, and talking to his co-parent about it. Should he hold on and do it his way or let it go and take more time to think it through? CLICK HERE to subscribe to our monthly podcast email to get a sneak peak into upcoming topics! Do you have a co-parent dilemma? Call our voicemail number at 1-234-DILEMMA or email 1234Dilemma@gmail...

Tiffany from Georgia writes to ask how she can get her co-parent to communicate with her instead of his new wife. Diane and Rick explore both sides of the issue when a step-parent is actually better at communicating than the co-parent, as well as when the step-parent makes it worse. Also, discussed in this episdoe is a weekly email protocol and Diane and RIck use in their parenting coordination practices. We've added the structured email protocol link here (in court order language) for listeners...

Diane and Rick answer a question about what to do when the court-ordered parenting plan is vague, unclear, and doesn't account for practical situations -- especially when your co-parent likes to be the parenting plan police! Chris from Ohio says his plan states he cannot leave the state without informing his co-parent. But he lives only a few miles from the state line, and his ex filed a contempt against him when he took the kids to have lunch with his cousin in a neighboring state. Should he l...

Jerome from Mississippi poses a heart-breaking dilemma for Diane and Rick to address - what to do when the other parent isn't consistent with her visitation. Do you let it go and just ignore broken promises that disappoint the children? Or do you try to hold the other parent accountable when she makes promises to the kids that she'll likely break? In this episode, co-parents can learn how to make this issue about the children's need to feel loved, rather than focusing on the unfairness of the si...

Sarah from London asks a common question about achieving the balance between "friendship" with a co-parent vs. moving on separately. Diane and Rick talk about the risks of holding on to a relationship that didn't work in marriage as opposed to letting go by setting healthy boundaries, not only for the adults but also for the children. CLICK HERE to subscribe to our monthly podcast email to get a sneak peak into upcoming topics! Do you have a co-parent dilemma? Call our voicemail number at 1-234...

Everyone knows that court-ordered parenting time is sacred, but some co-parents think they have legitimate reasons to withhold visitation from the other parent. With the recent COVID crisis, this is an increasingly sticky situation. Diane and Rick unpack the most common excuses parents use to justify going against the court order and how the other parent can respond. CLICK HERE to subscribe to our monthly podcast email to get a sneak peak into upcoming topics! Do you have a co-parent dilemma? Ca...

There is no issue that will put the kids in the middle more than conflict about a child's cell phone! Diane and Rick talk about the importance of seeing this issue from the child's point of view, and they share tips for creating court order language that will help guide them on phone communication with children. Here are the rules discussed in this episode: PHONE AND COMMUNICATION WITH CHILDREN For the purpose of this section, the definition of “custodial parent” is the parent who has responsibi...

Diane and Rick answer Kaylie's question about both co-parents attending a child's doctor's or other professional's appointments. Is it worth the fight to both be there? Or should one parent let it go? In this episode, they will unpack the importance of reframing the problem to think about how it must feel to the child instead of winning the argument. Learning to say "yes,: even when it's annoying, or accept "no" without complaining, is one of the most difficult concepts co-parents must learn to ...

Most high-conflict co-parents work hard to not talk to one another to avoid conflict, but what do they do when they have a real concern and want to share an opinion? Diane and Rick respond to Brandon's voicemail dilemma about what to do when his co-parent is not taking care of their child like he does. There is something in between not sharing at all and trying to control the other parent. The balance is in strategizing to optimize the best outcome using respectful words, giving the other parent...

Phrases like crazy-making, gas-lighting. twisting words, and avoiding responsibility, are just a few of the many complaints made by the co-parent who is frustrated with a narcissistic co-parent. Diane and Rick address Paul from Phoenix who wants help with his. Although changing someone with personality flaws of any type is nearly impossible, using protective boundaries in communication can minimize conflict and add years to your life! Here is a list of suggested responses to a narcissitic co-par...

Diane and Rick stand on several principles as they advise co-parents about conflict and communication. On this bonus episode, they discuss the meaning of the terms "co-parent" and "co-parenting,." Are they nouns or verbs? Also, what does it mean to set healthy boundaries with a co-parent (not too rigid and not too loose)? Finally, they discuss their newly-coined term, "NON-Impossible" co-parents, and that no one is let off the hook when it comes to two-way communication. Saying you have an impos...

Kids can leave parents speechless with their bizarre statements or tough questions about the other parent. Diane and Rick respond to Jessica from Atlanta and discuss how to take off the wounded spouse hat and put on the parenting one before talking to children. Also discussed is the WAC response (Worried, Afraid or Concerned) as a way to find out how a child feels or thinks about a situation, rather than jumping to conclusions and making it about the co-parent relationship instead of your chil...

Angela from Louisville is struggling to help her child experience social events, like birthday parties, because her co-parent refuses to let him do "kid" things on his weekends. This is a common problem many co-parents face as they desire for their children to be like other kids who can experience a range of activities and social experiences without being told, "Sorry, but that's happening on dad's (or mom's) weekend." Diane & Rick talk about the importance of understanding parenting time with c...

Diane & Rick help John in Chicago tackle the tough question of how much is enough when it comes to being flexible with your co-parent. Of course you want your children to attend their other parent's wedding, but it can get frustrating when you give them an inch and they take a mile every time! Boundaries are important and they depend on YOUR values, not THEIR behavior. Listen and learn how to know when to let it go and when to stand your ground on the question of flexibility. CLICK HERE to subsc...

There are at least two sides to every conflict, and when it's between divorced or separated parents, sparks can fly. In each episode, co-parenting experts Diane Dierks and Rick Voyles answer listener questions and talk about the benefits and risks of Letting Go vs. Holding Your Ground on a variety of complex topics facing co-parents tay. Listeners can call 1-234-DILEMMA (or email 1234Dilemma@gmail.com ) and leave a voice or email question that may be answered on an upcoming episode. What do you ...